Theories on gender development

There are many theories that have been developed to describe the development of one's gender identity.  In this chapter, we will cover both psychoanalytic and social theories of gender development.  We will also discuss what happens when one's gender identity does not match up with his or her biological sex, a condition known as gender dysphoria (previously referred to as gender identity disorder).

Please note:  As has already been discussed, there is an important difference between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’, and they should not be used interchangeably.  However, this is a modern distinction that was not realized during the time that many of the original theories of gender development were being created.  As such, many of the theories we’ll discuss in this chapter do conflate the terms ‘sex’ and ‘gender’.

Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was an Austrian physician who, along with colleagues such as Josef Breuer, sought to explain common physical ailments as being caused by an unrecognized psychological disturbance.

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To better understand Freud’s concept of gender identity, it’s helpful to review his overall theory regarding personality.   Essentially, he believed that our conscious state of being, i.e., our awareness of our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, etc., constitute only a small percentage of our actual existence.   Instead, a much larger component of our selves exists at the unconscious level, to which we do not have direct access.   (His psychoanalytic therapy techniques were thus designed to uncover what our unconscious is trying to tell us).   According to Freud, there are three components to personality: id, ego, superego.

The id, which is completely at the unconscious level, is driven by the pleasure principle, which seeks immediate and maximum gratification of our most base desires, e.g., sex and aggression.  Since we are not aware of these unconscious desires, the id leaks out libidinal energies in ways that our conscious mind can begin to interpret.

The ego straddles the divide between our conscious and unconscious awareness and is driven by the reality principle, which recognizes that we cannot act directly on the impulses generated by our id.   For example, society would quickly devolve if everyone was constantly seeking sex and aggressing against others.   Instead, through sublimation, the ego transforms these desires into more socially-appropriate behaviors, such as an artist drawing nude portraits or an athlete becoming a boxing champion.

Finally, the superego also straddles the divide between our conscious and unconscious awareness and is driven by the morality principle, which is essentially our moral conscience.  The superego is responsible for making us feel guilty for social and moral transgressions as well as making us feel proud for appropriately channeling our base desires.

As such, Freud attempted to describe one's gender identity as the result of competing impulses deriving from our unconscious mind.  

Freud's primary contribution to gender identity development was his belief that we progress through five stages of psychosexual development, starting at birth and up through our adolescent years. Each of these stages focuses on erogenous zones, or those areas of our bodies from which we derive sexual pleasure. 

• Oral stage (birth to 2 years):  focus is on the mouth and suckling behavior

• Anal stage (2-3 years):  pleasure is derived from being able to control our bowel movements

• Phallic stage (4-5 years):  focus is on one’s external genitalia

• Latent stage (6-13 years):  this represents a period of sexual dormancy (sexuality is inactive)

• Genital stage (13+ years):  pleasure is now derived from shifting our sexual desires onto others

Of particular importance to gender identity development, according to Freud, is how boys and girls handle unconscious conflicts regarding feelings towards their parents in the phallic stage.  During this stage of development, boys must confront the Oedipus Complex, in which boys have sexual desires for their mothers and view their fathers as potential competitors for the mother’s affection.  (Recall that is all occurs at the unconscious level).  Boys recognize that their fathers are aware of their desire for the mother and harbor fear that the father will attempt to thwart the relationship.   This is referred to as castration anxiety.  Successful resolution in this situation is for the boy to identify with the father and vow to seek out a new female figure in his life in the form of a wife.

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Girls also face a similar dilemma during the phallic stage known as the Electra Complex.  Essentially, girls harbor secret desire to be with their father and view their mother as competition.  However, it is also during this stage that girls recognize that they, unlike boys, do not have a penis, which causes them great concern.  As a result, girls develop penis envy.  Successful resolution in this situation for the girl is to identify with the mother and vow to seek out a penis of their own in the form of a husband.

Although Freud was obviously instrumental in transforming psychology into an everyday concept, it is important to note that he (and his theories) were not beyond some pretty valid criticisms.  Foremost, many scholars note how misogynistic Freud’s theories were, meaning that he held a very negative and diminished view of women.   Plus, his theories rely on the existence of the unconscious, which given that we don’t have direct access to it, means it is difficult if not impossible for any empirical studies to be conducted regarding its true influence over our conscious thoughts and behaviors.   Ironically, although Freud helped to popularize the field of psychology, if his theories were put forth today they would not be given any serious consideration, if any consideration at all.

With these criticisms in mind, not everyone was keen to follow Freud's theories and perspectives exactly as he proscribed.  Many extended the framework of how our unconscious mind influences our overall development but addressed the key criticisms of many of Freud's specific theories.  As such, those individuals who believed in the unconscious but took a different approach from Freud were referred to a psychodynamicists.

One such critic was Karen Horney (1885-1952).  She was one of the first German women admitted to medical school where she specialized in psychiatry.  Originally an Orthodox Freudian, she eventually became disillusioned with Freud’s emphasis on sexuality in general, and on his theory of penis envy specifically.

In particular, Horney heavily criticized the male bias that Freud and others promulgated in their theories.  She believed that our social interactions growing up were more important for shaping our identities and personalities than was our handling of unconscious, biological instincts.  To counter the notion that females suffer from penis envy, she developed the concept of womb envy, contending that the male envy of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood gives rise to an unconscious tendency to devalue women.

Psychoanalytic theories relied on the notion that our ability or inability to resolve unconscious conflicts during our psychosexual stages of development was responsible for our gender development.  In contrast, social learning theories are based on the assumption that "gendered" development is primarily the result of social factors of which we are consciously aware.

These theories, as applied to gender, are largely based on Albert Bandura's social learning theories more generally.  Bandura is the Stanford professor perhaps most well-known for his Bobo Doll studies conducted back in the 1960s in which children imitated the behavior of adult role models.  In these studies, children were placed in a room in which an adult was interacting with an inflatable punch toy.  In half the cases, the adults would gently push and tap the toy; in the other half, the adults would aggressively beat, kick, and hammer the toy.  Later, when the child was placed in a separate room where the same punch toy was present, children were significantly more likely to interact with the toy in the same manner they had observed the adult figure doing so.

An interesting component to social learning theory is that, if our environment changes, then the social factors that influence our development can also change.  According to Bandura, children progress through four stages while forming their understanding of gender identity.

The first stage is attention.  In this stage, boys and girls simply observe and pay attention to the behaviors of others in their environment, particularly their parents, noting general similarities and differences between males and females.  The second stage is memory.  In this stage, the observations previously made regarding such behavior is committed to memory.  The third stage is imitation.  In this stage, children start to imitate or reproduce the behaviors they have observed, with boys more likely to imitate the behaviors of other males in their environment and girls more likely to imitate the behaviors of other females in their environment.  The last stage is motivation.  In this stage, boys and girls intentionally engage in behaviors they think will produce the desired consequences by doing so, such as boys being praised for engaging in traditionally masculine activities and girls being praised for engaging in traditionally feminine activities based on their prior observations.

From an observational perspective, Bandura noted that children were more likely to imitate the behaviors of their same-sex peers.  For example, Bandura (1961) noticed that boys would more readily imitate aggressive behavior if committed by another male but not if committed by another female.  This is largely driven by the principles of operant conditioning in which boys and girls are rewarded for engaging in behaviors that are considered gender appropriate and punished for engaging in behaviors that are not considered gender appropriate. 

It is in this arena that children also start to gain an understanding of gender roles.  Gender roles consist of behaviors that are most frequently associated with one sex versus the other and which can be readily observed in social environments.   For example, there have been traditional differences in the frequencies in which men and women have divided household chores, engaged in child-care activities, and other such tasks.  According to the evolutionary perspective, biological differences are responsible for the formation of gender roles and help explain why men are typically more dominant whereas women are typically more nurturing, and that these differences would be difficult if not impossible to change.   According to the biosocial perspective, however, these differences are due to social and cultural norms which shape the behaviors of men and women as they grow up and are thus capable of change.

Critics of social learning theory have pointed out that Bandura’s model focuses solely on behaviors and not on any thoughts or feelings that children have associated with those behaviors.  Do children feel a sense of pride for engaging in gender appropriate tasks?  Do they feel shame for engaging in gender inappropriate tasks?  Also, unlike other stage models of development, there is no recognition of how old children are at each stage of this model or whether children progress through it in a similar manner.  When playing on the playground, do children of the same age focus on the same things—watching the mechanics of kickball versus the social interactions of the children engaged in the game?

To address these concerns, others specifically incorporated the important role of cognition in the formation of one’s gender identity.  Many cognitive theories of gender development are based on Jean Piaget's stage-theory of cognitive development, which suggests that children progress through age-related qualitative changes of cognitive understanding as we develop.

Lawrence Kohlberg (1927-1987) was an American psychologist who similarly theorized that children develop a sense of gender identity in cognitive stages.  In 1966, Kohlberg proposed a gender identity theory which focused specifically on the thoughts that children formulate regarding what constitutes a gender construct.  Qualitative changes in a child’s cognitive functioning are directly associated with their changing understanding of sex and gender.

According to Kohlberg, around 2-4 years of age, children form a gender identity when they start to recognize that there are two sexes, that they are one of those two sexes, and that others can be labeled as being one of those two sexes.   For example, a boy realizes that he is a boy and that his friend Tom is also a boy whereas his sister Kate is a girl.   However, given the limited cognitive abilities of children of this age, these labels are based primarily on a person’s physical appearance.  Boys typically wear jeans and have short hair; girls typically have longer hair and wear skirts and dresses.  From the perspective of a child this age, if a boy were grow out his hair and put on a skirt, he would become a girl.

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Around 4-6 years of age, children’s cognitive capacity has increased enough to the point where they recognize that a person’s sex is fixed.  Thus, gender stability is the recognition that a boy will grow up to be a man and that a girl will grow up to be a woman.   Children also have rather rigid interpretations of gender behaviors during this stage.

The final stage of gender identity development is gender constancy, in which the child now recognizes that changes to someone’s physical appearance does not alter that person’s sex.  In other words, a boy could have longer hair and still remain a boy and a girl could put on jeans and still remain a girl.  According to Kohlberg, gender is thought of as a cognitive construct instead of being formed by social or cultural norms.

Again, please note that Kohlberg should have used the term “sex” instead of “gender” in each of the above stages of development.

As an extension of cognitive theories of gender development, in the 1980s American psychologist Sandra Bem (1944-2014) proposed the Gender Schema Theory which asserts that children learn about male and female roles from the culture in which they live.  A criticism of both the social and cognitive theories of gender development is that they limit the extent to which children can vary from the same-sex role models in their environments.  By focusing on what aspects of gender identity a child finds most relevant, Bem’s (1981) gender schema theory offers a broader range of gender expression.

Gender schema theory relies on schemas.  According to Bem (1981), “A schema is a cognitive structure, a network of associations that organizes and guides an individual’s perception.  A schema functions as an anticipatory structure, a readiness to search for and to assimilate incoming information in schema-relevant terms” (p. 355).  As children grow up, their concept of gender is tied directly to their self-esteem and forms a core aspect of their identity.  There is an understanding that one’s sex may or may not align with their gender identity.  The manner in which their individualized notion of their gendered identity is either consistent or inconsistent with societal expectations for males and females results in sex typing, or “the process by which a society thus transmutes male and female into masculine and feminine” (Bem, 1981, p. 354).

In terms of gender identity, individuals fall under one of four categories:

Sex-typed individuals:  process information consistent with their sex

Cross-sex-typed individuals:  process information inconsistent with their sex

Androgynous individuals:  process information related to both sexes

Undifferentiated individuals:  struggle to process information from either sex

To discourage the application of rigid gender stereotypes as a child develops, Bem suggests limiting the amount of sex typing that children are exposed to so that they feel comfortable forming a gender identity that they are most comfortable with as opposed to what some societal and cultural norms may dictate is appropriate.

Several variations on the term ‘gender’ have become much more common recently.   For example, the term cisgender refers to individuals whose gender identity matches up with their assigned sex at birth, such as a person who was born a biological female who identifies as female as an adult.  Some identify as transgender, which is when a person’s gender identity does not match up with their assigned sex at birth, such as a person who was born a biological female who identifies as a male as an adult.  According to the Centers for Disease Control (2022), approximately one million Americans (about 0.6% of the population) currently identifies as transgender.  Relatedly, the term non-binary refers to individuals whose gender identity is neither male nor female.

Some transgender individuals may experience gender dysphoria, which occurs when a great amount of psychological stress is caused by the inconsistency between their current gender identity and their assigned sex at birth, which can occur at any point in one’s life starting generally about puberty.   As explained by the American Psychiatric Association (2013), gender dysphoria "involves a conflict between a person's physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify. People with gender dysphoria may be very uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned, sometimes described as being uncomfortable with their body (particularly developments during puberty) or being uncomfortable with the expected roles of their assigned gender."  

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 As stated by Dr. Jack Turban from the American Psychiatric Association, “The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) provides for one overarching diagnosis of gender dysphoria with separate specific criteria for children and for adolescents and adults.

The DSM-5 defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least two of the following:

A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)

A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics because of a marked incongruence with one’s experienced/expressed gender (or in young adolescents, a desire to prevent the development of the anticipated secondary sex characteristics)

A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender

A strong desire to be of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

A strong desire to be treated as the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

In order to meet criteria for the diagnosis, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

The DSM-5 defines gender dysphoria in children as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months, as manifested by at least six of the following (one of which must be the first criterion):

A strong desire to be of the other gender or an insistence that one is the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)

In boys (assigned gender), a strong preference for cross-dressing or simulating female attire; or in girls (assigned gender), a strong preference for wearing only typical masculine clothing and a strong resistance to the wearing of typical feminine clothing

A strong preference for cross-gender roles in make-believe play or fantasy play

A strong preference for the toys, games or activities stereotypically used or engaged in by the other gender

A strong preference for playmates of the other gender

In boys (assigned gender), a strong rejection of typically masculine toys, games, and activities and a strong avoidance of rough-and-tumble play; or in girls (assigned gender), a strong rejection of typically feminine toys, games, and activities

A strong dislike of one’s sexual anatomy

A strong desire for the physical sex characteristics that match one’s experienced gender

As with the diagnostic criteria for adolescents and adults, the condition must also be associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning” (Turban, 2020).

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Traditional gender roles in the United States in the 1950s and 1960s had men working outside the home to earn money and women staying home to clean and care for the children.  In what ways have such gender roles changes in the past few years?  Are the gender roles defined for men and women in today’s society as different as they were just a few decades ago?  In what ways have they changed or stayed the same?

Bem, S. L. (1981). Gender schema theory: A cognitive account of sex typing.  Psychological Review, 88, 354-364.

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), Fifth edition (2013). American Psychiatric Association.

Turban, J. (2020, November).  What is gender dysphoria?  American Psychiatric Association.   https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria